We Need To Put Gordon Ramsay On The First Boat Back To England For Spitting Out A Thin Mint

Hey Gordon Ramsay…..

You do not come into my country with your British ass accent and shit on Girl Scout cookies. Not yesterday, not today, and not tomorrow. We did not win the Revolutionary War just to allow those limey bastards back into our country to shit on everything we’ve built since escaping the tyranny of King George III. What’s he going to do next, say Breaking Bad “isn’t that great”? Claim Taco Bell is “just ok”? I don’t know where he gets off thinking he can tap dance all over the stars and stripes and get away with it. Comparing Girl Scout Cookies to dog biscuits. Hey Gordon, your mom is a dog biscuit, how you like them apples?

And by the way, if you’ve ever been to England, all they do is copy America over there anyway. They have Chipotles, KFCs are on every corner, Dominos is the biggest pizza chain, etc etc etc. They are obsessed with America over there. Not that it’s a bad thing, of course every country wants to be America, even the ones we put in our back pockets 200 years ago. But there’s always going to be guys like Gordon Ramsay up on their British ass high horse, trying to make it seem like he’s too good for America. Hey jerk, you’re sitting on the Jimmy Kimmel show in Hollywood. You need American much more than America needs you.

Oh, and you’re not even half as good of a chef as Rocco.